Here is my testimony,

I believe I had a good childhood. I sincerely believe that my parents did their best to protect the innocence of their children. We grew up in a loving and happy home. We even had a favorite family pastime: mini-golf.

Despite the fond memories of my youth and my parents’ integrity towards their parental responsibilities, I was still affected by trauma at a young age. I grew up with two other brothers who demanded more energy from my parents than I did. I was independent at an early age, being shown how to do something and working it out for myself. I suffered a lot of loneliness because of this involuntary lack of attention from my parents. I felt rejected by them. This false perception could only lead to bad consequences in my life. Like closing on myself. I think it was a defense mechanism to protect myself from the painful sensation of rejection. As a result, I rebelled against the whole world.

In my early teens, my father became ill. This had a big impact on my life. My mother was forced to take care of the whole family by herself. She was in a state of oppression. The hours at work, the hospital visits, the decline of both mental and physical health of my father, and the increasing delinquency of her three kids just exhausted her.

In these moments of loneliness and despair, I rebelled by building a new identity. I started getting involved in criminal activities. From stealing cars to plotting armed robberies to eventually selling drugs. The people around me were both corrupt and dangerous. I had become just like them.

The feeling of abandonment I’d carried around with me since my early childhood had turned into hatred. For a very long time, I lived with this feeling of injustice. A feeling that made me hate the person I thought I was.

I suffered continuously. My suffering was so intense that I wanted to take my own life. I slept with a knife under my mattress. At night, before going to sleep, I would place the knife against my chest. I hoped the pain would stop. I just needed to get that kitchen knife into my chest and be done with it. I couldn’t do it. In those moments, I couldn’t understand why I could not go through with suicide. It was only years later that the truth was revealed to me.

Over the years, I was completely overwhelmed by this dark and murky road. My entourage was always full of bandits. I was someone people could not trust. I was ready to sacrifice anyone or anything to satisfy my own selfish desires.

Despite my ambition to prosper in my career as a criminal, a time came when business was not as it once was. The money had stopped. I found myself despairing over circumstances in my life that eventually led directly to imprisonment.

The cell I was lock up in was so small, being there was driving me crazy. It was at that very moment I made a decision which impacted my life. I prayed.

I didn’t even know how to pray at the time. Considering myself the god of the universe, I had lost the notion of praying to a supreme being. When the time came to pray, my memory was rusty from the Our Father prayer I’d been taught in catechism groups when I was younger.  So I tried to remember how to pray, and the only thing I could recite to myself was: “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…” and that was it! The rest came out like mumbling. I started again in the same way each time I got to the part of ‘’hallowed be thy name’’. Despite my lack of prayer knowledge, praying brought me peace. It was then that I promised God that I would give up my criminal activities to better serve Him.

I’d love to tell you that my life started going better from that moment on, but unfortunately it didn’t.

Despite my newfound conviction, my heart was still in darkness.

I thought I was convincing God of my good intentions, believing that He would grant my darkest desires. But God doesn’t make pacts like that. To believe that I could control and direct my relationship with God based on the sins of my heart is completely absurd. Nevertheless, unconsciously, I believed it to be so.

All my attempts to convince God of my plans were useless. This left me with a rather bitter taste in my relationship with God. Disappointed by the lack of results in my hopes and wishes, I lost hope of finding happiness in the Lord. So I started looking for another resolution. I decided to turn to Satan.

Having made this decision, it felt like a door had opened. A door that should have remained closed.

I had deliberately chosen to let the devil in. Satan seized that opportunity. My sinful ways led me down the road of perdition.

In those dark moments of my life, many things happened which to this day I do not understand. Was it simply a matter of sanity? Or was it my own imagination playing tricks on me? Or was it really the powers of darkness that began to converse with me telepathically? Only God can say for sure. For my part, I’m convinced that I had created a direct link with demons.

The dark side. The study of the occult. Magic and demonology were now the focus of my existence. My quest for power continued and fueled my sin. I was reciting invocations to reach some demons. I experienced astral journeys where I was chased by others.

The purpose of this testimony is not to go into detail about these darker moments in my life. But simply to demonstrate the darkness of my heart, and how far sin can push a man if he doesn’t resist it. The main purpose of this testimony is to lead you to Christ through His deliverance.

Nevertheless, I must specify one event in particular. I believe it was one of the greatest deliverances I could receive from Jesus Christ.

I was in bed, half asleep. It was then that I had a dream, or at least I think it was a dream. Here’s how my experience unfolded; I’m walking down a long dark corridor made from old bricks covered with cobwebs. Prisoners’ shackles are linked on the walls. I was accompanied by someone. I remember my companion looked a lot like me physically. Except for an evil expression that made his face pointier. He walked with me through the corridor. During that walk, he explained various things to me that sounded more like whispers. Eventually, we made our way to a large round room that looked just as morbid as the corridor. At the center of this room stood a pedestal. There was a large open book on the pedestal. My companion pointed in the direction of the book, letting me know that I should approach the book. As I got closer to the book, I noticed that it was filled with different names. The book looked like a register or a guestbook of some sort. All the spaces in the book were numbered. My companion then pointed to an empty space numbered 168. I was informed to sign my name there but just as I was about to do so I heard a voice; ‘Daniel, don’t do it, it’s a trap!’ Suddenly I awoke and stood up in my bed.

If I were ever asked to interpret exactly every aspect and meaning of this experience, I think it would be impossible. One thing I am certain of, however, and can interpret without hesitation, is that where the devil wanted to convince me that it was a good idea to add my name to the book of lost souls, it was Jesus Christ who raised His voice to rescue me from the lie of death. Amen!

It has now been over 25 years since this experience took place. It took me a long time to get out of my Egypt. Although I could recognize Christ’s presence in my life, I remained in my solitude for too long. I refused to open my heart to Jesus. I resisted God’s love. I deprived myself of His abundance, but Jesus is patient.

I became the father of three beautiful children and the husband of an amazing wife. One day, my wife (who was still a young Christian) heard about a church from one of her friends.

I took the time to watch the pastor of this church on YouTube to convince myself that I could make the trip to hear him in person. Finally, it was by joining this church in a room filled with the presence of the Holy Spirit that I understood that Jesus loves me. He made me realize that it was He who held back the kitchen knife when I had suicidal thoughts. He saved my life on more than one occasion. The truth of His love pierced my soul. Jesus replaced what defiled my heart with His love.

Today, I know God’s love. Amen!

To sum up, I can’t say for sure when, where or how I really offered my life to the Lord. For me, giving my life to the Lord is an act that takes on its authenticity only if we work at it continually.

I give glory to God for His love. For Jesus Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life.

Thank you Lord, for delivering me from the lies of death and giving me back the truth of life.  Amen!